In Memory

Kathleen Ciulla (Barton)

Kathleen M. Ciulla


Penfield: Departed this life, Sunday, November 1, 2015. Predeceased by her father, Vincent Ciulla; life partner, William Barton. Kathleen is survived by her mother, Mary Ann Backes Ciulla; sisters, Jean Ciulla (Raymond Schlitzer), Anne (Richard) Romano; brother, David Ciulla; dear friend, Bill Barton and nephews.

Services will be held privately. To share a memory or send the family a condolence, please visit



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11/15/15 10:46 AM #1    

Barbara Saucke (O'Connor)

It is with heavy heart that I post this obituary for Kathy.  RIP my dear friend.

11/15/15 10:53 AM #2    

Barbara Saucke (O'Connor)

This was a letter Kathy wrote on Facebook:

Dear Loved Ones,
Have some news I need to share with you. As my Aunt Ida used to say “brace yourself”.
I’m dying of cancer. It has spread from my lungs to my mouth, etc. I have been going from Doctor to Doctor from specialist to specialist… finally a biopsy of my jawbone revealed the truth. Now it’s too late and I am in extreme pain.
If we had a merciful society, I would be able to get the same compassion as a cat or dog gets when they are dying and in pain. How many times has a Veterinarian said “it would be cruel to let your pet suffer in pain and with just one shot they could pass in peace?” There is no such compassion for people. When you hear that I have skipped the agony of my final days, I hope you will know that it is not with disregard for life, I’m not insane or depressed… I just can’t handle this pain and see no value in suffering to the bitter end.
I’ve asked Billy (my step-son) not to have a funeral, a service, or any fan fair– just make an ash of me and let me RIP with his Father. If you feel inclined, say a prayer that I will be with my Billy in heaven – I’ve missed him so.
I hope by now that some of the initial shock of my departure has begun to wear away and that the kind carpet of pleasant memories has started to unroll. My only sadness at contemplating this moment for you is that I know I shall go and leave much I hoped to do with you undone. I only ask one thing.
No sad tears for me, please.
Every wonderful, delightful thrill, experience, and emotion life has to offer has been mine.
So, no sad tears, please.
Rather, recall me with a fond smile as someone who shared your laughter, tears, and dreams through the years ...
Save your sadness and sorrow for those who leave before they find, see, feel, taste, touch and discover the precious pleasures of this world.
No sad tears for me, please.
I've lived a goodly span of years — and enjoyed them all. Laughed a lot, cried a little . . . seen a thousand sunsets — shot a thousand arrows, traveled the world, and as the dawn of my life broke, I began the biggest adventure of my life with my Billy. We healed life’s bumps and bruises, we filled each other’s hearts with all the good stuff…we were one.
So, no sad tears, please.
I've cradled that same man in my arms, walked with his hand in mine, danced cheek to cheek, and was adored by him . . . and then one day, as easily as I welcomed him into my heart, he slipped away.
So, no sad tears, please.

I’ve had the best of friends and loved most of you, most of the time. My friends…you are a mixed bag of people scattered across the world. Some of you came into my life briefly, some for a season, others for a reason, while some of you I have loved for a lifetime. What an honor and extreme blessing each of you have been to me.
No sad tears for me, please.
The memories of the years I turn over slowly — like the pages of a book. There were victories, and they gave life zest. There were defeats and sadness — I’d like to say they made me stronger (but I’m not sure that’s true). Many of them were lived vicariously — through my nephew’s growth, their successes & my friend’s endeavors. Perhaps the greatest adventures of all have been the spiritual journey. Learning each step of the way to understand our purpose, to cherish life’s gifts, to seek peace and joy… to believe.
I was always in a hurry to grow up (15 going on 30). I raced with many contemporaries and knew the thrill of achieving . . . the roar of the crowd was sweet. It’s been an exciting and dynamic life. I’ve gone where I wanted, had amazing experiences, and done everything I ever wanted to do. How cool is that?
So, no sad tears for me, please.
Life has been good . . . it has been very, very good. As long as you remember me with fondness . . . and my memory evokes a wistful smile then I have lived a good life.
No sad tears for me, please . . .
I Love you,

11/15/15 05:29 PM #3    

Jody Underwood (Harkola)

The world has lost a truly beautiful person, but Heaven has welcomed a most beautiful soul.

RIP Kath, may you now be at peace in the arms of your loving Father and Bill.

~  Jody Harkola

11/16/15 09:51 AM #4    

Pat Carlino (Kane)

I'm so sorry to hear Kathy passed, may she now have peace of body & spirit. I saw her last at our IHS 40th reunion, which was probably the 1st time in 40 years. It was so nice to see her, she was happy & energetic. My thoughts & prayers go out to her family & friends. My best to everyone, Pat Carlino

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